passion.

A while ago I wrote here about my fascination for other people's passion. How I thought about doing an interview project about it here on the blog. So, I figured today would be a good day to start. What I love about this, is that asking people about things they are passionate about gives us a chance to see things we might not normally think of at all through the eyes of somebody who loves them. I remember the first time I discovered the beauty of this:

I was on the trainstation waiting for the train to take me to visit my mother and stepfather. A young woman called out my name, and it was an old friend I hadn't seen for possibly ten years. We met at a scoutscamp one summer a long long time ago, stayed in touch a while after, but then lost contact. She had become an engineer and work in some heavy industry I can't remember. What I do remember is how surprised I was that she had ended up in that business, and in that role. She was some sort of supervisor on the floor, working with only men in a huge factory of sort where they constructed something that required a lot of heat.nAnd even more, I recall how fascinating it was to here her talk about it. It was something I would never have taken an interest in myself. Ever. I would have written it of as utterly boring and a sad way to have to spend your working days. But she lit up completely. Talking about her love of walking out onto the floor filled with those huge machines and containers. Feeling the heat, the heat, the heat. Her eyes shone, her skin blushed and she looked as the heat was in her when she talked about it. And I didn't want her to stop talking. For a moment there could be nothing more exciting than this job she was talking about. And afterwards I was all excited as if though I had stumbled upon a grand treasure, or unlocked a big secret:

Everything in life can be this exciting! You just have to see it through the eyes of that person who is passionate about it.

And then, unfortunatly, I forgot about it.

But now I figured, why not embark on a journey where we can explore different passions here on my blog? Yes!!!

I will post my first interview (with myself, hehe) as soon as it is finished = soon. And if you have a passion you would like me to interview you about here  - just let me know!

Love!

siblings.

It was of course part of the plan all along. First get one kid. Then one more. And then they would love eachother and be there for eachother for the rest of their lives. I just figured we had to get through a couple of years of jealousy, fighting and competing first. And maybe all those things will come.

But when L came in to our lives I was surprised. I remember trying to exchange my baby sister for the neighbours kitten (almost got away with it), but S instantly loved her. Always wants to kiss her goodnight. Can't wait to wake her up in the morning. He threw a couple of jealousy fits, but not more than a couple. And he takes the things she plays with away from her claiming them as "MINE!". But you know, he is two. And the next second he wants to lay down next to her and try and make her laugh. Or sit in front of me so that we can hold her together and he gently strokes her stomach. I am sure the tears and fighting will also come. But right now I am so utterly happy to watch them exchange glances of michief to come!

I know my own sister and I had our share of fighting, but she is also one of the most important people (together with, P, S and L) and has taught me so much about relationships, myself and life. Purely by being who she is and being in my life. She has taught me responsibility, love without  demands, swallowing my pride, humility, how to laugh until you think your body is going to break. Amongst other things. There were days when I cried over something she said, I know I have made her cry sometimes. There were days of jealousy when I thought she did everything better than me and everybody loved her more. But I wouldn't change anything at all. Not one thing. She is the best sister I could ever have gotten.

And I so wish my children will grow up to feel the same.

How about you? Do you have a sibling? What has he or she or them meant for you?

Love!

Everyday creative.

The other day it struck me.

I have been beating on myself and striving to change and giving myself peptalks for years about how creativity ought to be part of my everday life least I become unhappy. And then suddenly I realized. It is.

For a while now I have created something every single day. Sometimes it is just a minute here and a few seconds there of knitting. Sometimes it is working on a "real" project for even an hour, the kids clinging on me, helping out or bringing books to read. So hip hip horray for a MAJOR goal come true! And I actually am a lot happier, and I feel a whole lot more like me than before. And it is a wonderful thing indeed.

So what have I learnt from this? Things don't have to be so complicated. Every project doesn't have to be a full length play in front of an audience or a book written and published. It can be the tiniest thing. And it can still be completely fulfilling!

I have also started to create with whatever I find lying around indoors or outdoors, and that really sets the imagination free! So if you are stuck and don't know what to do - here is what I suggest: Just go out into Mama Nature and pick up just about anything. Bring it home and just sit with it and see what colour it might want to be, or if there is something at home you feel like gluing on it or.... whatever. Really just whatever. A while ago a brought home a stick, painted it and wrapped some yarn on it and then tied on some strips of paper. Pretty art? Not really. Fun? YES!

Did you create something with an object of nature (or household object, or thingie found in the garage or...)? Post a picture in the comments!

Love!

nightpacing.

I've been doing some nightpacing. With this second child there hasn't been much of it so far. With the first one we went out side every night with him tucked in a huge duvet walking for sometimes an hour or more while he struggled with sleep or the lack of it. Now he sleeps in his own bed accompanied by Teddy - only calls out for me when he has had nightmares. She has always been able to sleep rather well. But a couple of nights she or he has awakend and required some carrying and humming and stroking on the back.

And as the feet starts to pace the black floors of our appartment, so my thoughts start to travel darker grounds in my mind. "There is no way you can do it." "You have no money, just give up!" "Your art is ridiculous, as are you." Slowly numbing me and filling my legs and stomach with concrete. Heavy heavy heavy. For one day I just gave in to it. Did nothing. Hid in the closet for a little while. Looked at all my art supplies in there. Found a binder with old pictures and ideas for projects. Felt a tiiiiiiiny bit better. Had an apple. Went outside and blew soap bubbles from the balcony with my son. The delight and excitement of being up and outside late in the evening filling his voice with laughter. Slowly warming me up from inside. And now I think this:
"Everything is possible." "The darkness is not emptiness, it is a place to rest from all the input that bombards us all day and instead fall into peace and then new ideas." "Under my feet, pacing the darkness, are the hands of all my ancestors carrying me." And I feel good. I feel I am enough. I am scared, but also so happy and grateful for all that I can call mine.

small things.

One of the joys of having children is to, through them, experience the world anew. I am often too stressed and too preoccupied with what is going on inside to fully appriciate this. But yesterday, I took a walk in the rain with Missy tucked into the pram and The Man walking proud with his own umbrella. I decided that I wasn't going to stress him or hurry one bit, just allow the walk to take as long as it did, allowing him to stop whenever and for how long he liked, exploring whatever he wanted. And it was great!

I hope I remember to take more walks like this one! I aspire to follow more in the footsteps of my children (she will walk eventually, early to judge by her eagerness) and let the small things blow me away with their wonder!

this moment.

This day I have been given.
This moment.
This precious moment a gift.
From the Universe, God or Goddess if you will.
A gift, if you will savour it.
Immerse yourself in it.
Learn from it.
This very moment.
For me.
This moment my baby girl nursing.
Her eyes gazing at a distant land.
Her hands tugging at my clothes, grasping for my body.
Sharp nails leaving red marks.
Paths for my heart to travel.

oil crayons.

I really do have the worst photosituation at home right now. Half of our lamps have quit working and it's so dark outside basically no light comes in through the windows, and the light we do have come from spots, so it's really difficult getting a more general light without shadows ruining the picture. And of course I don't really know a lot about photography ;).

So, excuses made: here are a few scetches/drawings I made in one of my favorite medias - oil crayons!