sun.

I just had to slip in an extra post. It is a big thing here in Sweden, when the sun gets that warm glow again. Mmmmmm. Lovely!

watching, getting inspired.

I have begun watching documentaries. About artists. And I can't believe I haven't discovered this before! It is so interesting and inspiring! Yesterday I started watching a series about aboriginal art and was totally blown away. The wonderful wonderful way they depict their homes. It's so very beautiful, and watching a couple of different artists while working was mesmerizing. Slowly, dot by dot or line by line, every now and then bursting into singing - telling the stories they are painting. I want to know more!

And I doodled a bit with dots, and gave the doodles really pretentious names :)...

Woman who can't find her true voice:

Female figure dancing across landscapes:

Love!

the dreams that have come true.

They seem so slow in coming true, my dreams. I have so many ideas, some of which totally set me on fire. But it is slow, oh indeed. To the point I am thinking: maybe this is illusion. Maybe I am just running around thinking about getting somewhere, but actually remaining at the exact same point.
Not true of course.
I just need to remember those dreams that I actually allready have made come true (random order):


I went to an actingschool.

I've been in two professional plays.

I went to India, hurrah!

I jumped out of a plane and did a skydive, woooooo!

I gave birth to two beautiful, healthy babies.

I met my dream man.

I participated in an amateur play after years of longing for acting.

I travelled with my sister (to Israel).

Me and my friend the operasinger had a concert in a church in the old city (Stabat Mater of Pergolesi).

Started my own business.

I went on a sunny, funny holiday with my love. In Thailand. And there I met elephants :).

So, dreams do come true. And they are not the last ones I am sure!

What are your dreams? What dreams have come true for you?

Love!

beauty of winter.

I long so much for spring. For the sunshine, the greenery starting to pop out of the ground and the branches. Not having to spend half an hour putting clothes on the children before we can even open the door.

But oh. Oh my. Winter can be so beautiful, so fairytaly. The trees outside our house are all clad in sparkly white stars. If you look closely on the ground there are wonderful patterns. Nature is the best artist!

time on my hands to brainstorm.

Sick children. This whole winter so far I have been worried that the children get sick, because I figured instead of having just a very little time to create I would suddenly have none. Plus of course I would get immensly grumpy from lack of sleep. Today both my children are sick.
And guess what:

Hahaha. You just never know, do you!
So lovely, lovely, lovely. Putting ideas on paper. In every colour. I am so happy and relaxed.
If I have to stay up all night? It's gonna be aaaallll gooooood :).

Love!

e-book in the making.

Ok, so I figured this out:
Most people don't like really long blogposts. And mine have been getting longer and longer I feel. But hey, it's a learning process, isn't it? I love that. Learning I mean, I don't adore long blogposts either, unless they are extraordinarily good. And I won't kid myself ;).

So, I decided this:
Instead of writing ultralong blogposts about people's passions here, I am going to collect the interviews, create an e-book, and then hand it out here for free. Much better, don't you think?

It may take a little while, though not necessarily that long. I have started looking for participants allready. And of course, if you have a passion, something that really sets you on fire - by all means, let me know and I'll interveiw you about it (via mail).

Love!

passion. mine.

So, what then is my greatest passion? 
I have answered that question several times, just to erase the answer. There are so many things that excite me and make me happy. But if I have to choose one thing - it is music. I also wanted to say "creating art", but I will stick to just the one thing. And that is music. Listening to it. Making it.

What is my first memory of my passion?
I remember being maybe four or five years old. Standing next to my father in the living room. He is sitting on a chair, playing the violin, and I am singing. About the spring birds filling the heavens after a long winter.
My father was a musician before I was born. He used to play the violin in the Gothembourg symfonic orchestra. He gave it up to become a surgeon so that his family would never be poor (he grew up poor), but he always kept playing. Still does so everyday. So classical music was a part of our lives from the beginning. I remember him being able to tell the name and composer of a piece after just hearing a phrase or sometimes even just two notes. I was impressed and wanted to learn to do the same. Never did though. My relationship to music is very different to my father's.
I also remember listening to a record, running around and around in our livinroom, completely absorbed for ages, feeling free, completely free.
I also remember, at a very young age, when I thought about what I wanted life to be like, I pictured a room filled with instruments from all over the world. And I could play with them all.

What about it is it that sets me on fire?
Everything. I love listening to it - how it can evoke so much inside me. Feelings. Images. Words. It can open up an entire new universe inside me. Singing. Never do I feel closer to a higher being than when I sing. I love how my voice is free. How it can pick me up and fill me with joy no matter how desperate I may feel. I love how my singing voice can light a shine in the eyes of others, and for a moment we share eternity. I love that there is such diversity - there is so much to explore and experience! And I love that it is an experience that is not intellectual, but emotional and fysical. I like how listening to music prompts my body to move, and how I can immerse myself in the sound and forget about everything around me. It is absolutely a spiritual experience for me. It deepens my experience of life.

What part does it play in my life as a whole and in my everyday life?
As I wrote, it is a spiritual experience for me, to listen and make music likewise. So it is my connection to something greater, a way to enter into "trance" or "expansiveness", meditation. It helps me gain access to my imagination and my strength. In my everyday life, it is an area that wakes up my inspiration and my curiosity. Two things that are much needed since I often feel the everyday life is too much of the same, which makes me panic from time to time. Music connects me with a sence of meaningfulness and inspiration.
Also, I sing with my children all the time. Children's songs, classical music, improvised jazzy stuff (usually makes my son go NO! Not that! Not like that!), hihi. I feel it is a way for us to connect emotionally.

How do I feel other people could approach it to get the best experience?
Most people allready have some relationship with music. But so many people I have met have a fear of singing. Most because they have been told that they can't sing, or because they decided for themselves that their voices are not beautiful enough. I would so much like for those who carry these beliefs to reclaim their voices! Singing doesn't have to be "beautiful", it is so much more rhan that. And I would like to inspire people to listen to things that are outside the frames of what they normally listen to. I believe it to be so enriching. I is an experience of something totally different for a couple of minutes! Listen in a meditative, open state, maybe lying down with your eyes closed, wearing headphones. Allow yourself to be washed over, filled, and just let your thoughts, imagination and feelings stray!

I think, if you have spotify, you can follow the link below to listen to some good stuff.

passion

Enjoy!

to expand.

I have been thinking again, about why it is that creating is of such importance to me, and why I so firmly believe that everybody should experience it at least. It seems like you form an idea or an opinion, and if you are very sure of it, it is easy to just keep on believing it without rethinking about it. But people change, and then so should ideas. When ideas turn rigid, so do we, and then we start getting in to conflict with others, ourselves or our lives and situations easier. At least I think that is how it works.

And so I decided to ask myself again: What is it that makes me feel that creating is so important? It used to be because it was something I felt I was good at, and I thought that if I became good at it it would be a way to collect revenge on my bullies. They would have to gasp in awe and of course would come to realize that I was so much more than they had given me credit for. Some days I added to the fantasy that they would come to realize I was som much better than them.

And then it became a way to escape. Escape how I was feeling. Escape what happened in my life by creating an alternate world through music, pictures, stories. It filled me with hope that I would be discovered and carried away to a different life that suited me better and where I was loved and even admired for who I was.

And then it simply became part of my identity. It is important to create because I am the creative one. I have clung on to this quite fiercly. Especially now that I feel I have walked far from the creative path in becoming a psychologist and working a while in research, having two gorgeous timeconsumers in my life :).

And now what? I have felt a shift. I still create for all of the above reasons, but something else is becoming stronger and stronger. And I came to see that it is no longer the result that is important. Or what anybody else thinks of it, not even me. It is about being in a process. But what is so special about this process? Two things, for me. It is pure freedom. In art and creating there are no limits. Not really. Of course you have your material and your skills and your imagination. But if you just dive into the process none of that really matters. You can just go with the flow and experience freedom for a while. Oh bliss!

And also, I have come to start feeling a sence of expansion in a spiritual way. When I create I become one with the material, with my surroundings and the universe as a whole. And this is something I feel is scarce in other parts of the everyday life. And I love it. And I truly wish that everyone could find a way to experience this in their everyday life. Art and creating is good, because there is an endless of ways to do it. Everybody can find their special way! Love!