torsdag 22 september 2011

Begin. Erase.

I wrote a play. A monologue. The title: Begin. Erase.
Because that is so much the story of my relationship to my dreams. Basically all of them. A dream becomes clear to me. I get excited. Sometimes even mesmerized at how wonderful it is and how beautiful my life will be if I follow it. And so, inspired I begin.
And then...
I choke. Or fade. Or doubt. Or procrastrinate. Or judge. A million things except for following the dream. I erase.
And so for years and years and years I felt as if though I was stuck in a waiting room of some sort. My life not quite started. Or maybe ended. Or at least stopped. Hard to tell sometimes (another momologue about that in slow making).
And so I came to the realization that by doing this to my dreams for such a long time I had actually started erasing myself. Like for example: I have absolutely nothing to wear (becoming mother twice, nursing, body changing makes for an urgent need for change of wardrobe!), but I can't bring myself to by anything because I have no idea what I like. Just a small example.
Ok.What to do? A change of attitude is of course necessary. And I do think that I am now mature and ready to make it. I am going to use this blog as a motivator to go forward and try and make my dreams come true. Join me on the journey if you like. Bring your own dreams! Let's try, discuss, inspire eachother... And if nobody gives a rat's ass about me and my dreams I'll write this blog for me ;).
Begin.