My magical wand.

I cannot believe it has been another week!
Again!

I had supermany ideas about all the magic I wanted to create this week, but oh no. I sit now on wednesday evening, and I have just spent five minutes creating my magical wand. It doesn't feel bad though. I picked the stick several weeks ago because I just liked it. And it has been sitting on the desk where I am supposed to work since. I don't do any work there. I just put things there, and then when I feel like working or creating I spread the stuff out all over the appartment. And then when I'm done I curse the hardship of womenhood because we always have to tidy up so much :).

There has been a tiny bit of magic this week though. I have been stressing more and more about my situation, as you know. But yesterday when I sat translating a "thing" I am working on I came across a question I used a lot in my work with people suffering from stressrelated diseases or existential/lifesituatoin dilemmas/problems:

What is my life task right now?


It was asked by a psychologist called Erik E. Eriksson in his book about human development through the different ages of a lifetime. His perspective was that in every stage of life there is a certain task in focus. And this task is something most of what we do circulates around. For example when we are teenagers our task is to search for an identity - so we do a lot of experimenting with clothes, taste in music, political opinions, how we relate to the other sex and so on. I used the question to make people think of what the main thing they need to do right now is about. And I figured, ok, I'll ask myself.

And the answer burst out imediatly: To be a mother to my children. That is pretty obvious to everyone I suppose, but to me it felt like a welcome revelation. This is what I need to do. Be a mother. Everything else is secondary. Of course I need to find an income, but that is secondary to mothering. And it was like a big sigh went through my body and released a loooooot of tension.

And you know what? Suddenly I found energy, and joy, and patience, and a desire to create and ideas to turn into creations. MAGIC!

Very simple and maybe banal, but that's allright by me :). The words are: Joy, love, From now on my life shall be magical. Mama Nature will mother me so I can bring magic to my kids.

What magic happend this week in your life?

sun.

I haven't had much time.

Like usual.

But I played around a bit, and a scetch I made looks allright I guess :).

So here is my sun:

Now that I have my scanner I really have to start using it. End of these crappy photos (except this one turned out ok). Old habits dy hard...

Love!

Week four of Project Playground.

It is evening again, and I sit again sweating a bit because I want to make this week's prompt tempting. I have so many other things on my mind.  Not only confusion about the future and stress. Also very nice things such as this: 

I have also been digging and planting in my elotment. I hope to get a little bit more order and growth there this year than last year. Last year was the first year I got to use it after it had been unused for quite a number of years, so I think it will take a while before it gives really good crops. If it ever does. It doesn't really matter. Not much anyway. What matters is the happiness I feel while being there. And to see my daughter dig her hands down in the earth, and my son run around it laughing, helping pull weeds and put seeds in the ground. I forgot my camera today, but hope to get some pictures tomorrow.

Now. To the project.

I have been enjoying the sun so much that I feel a tribute is in order. So that is what the project for this week is - to make a tribute to the sun. There are many to be inspired by in all kinds of media (maybe make a collage?). You can of course make a drawing or painting, you can write a poem, but also write a lovesong or other musical piece! Anything can be used. I ran out of paper one day, but found paper plates from a birthday some years ago and drew on that (terrible photo again, sorry about that, hehe):

Love!

The sentence I picked and how I continued it.

Today I went to the library. We had an appointment at the doctors, but had to wait for over an hour (hooray for my doctor who gives you a time estimate when you get in line!). So I took baby L across the street to have a cup of coffee at the library café and she fell asleep on the way.

In the café there was a sale of books that had been sorted out from the library and I found a book by one of my favorite authors. Naturally I bought it. I closed my eyes, flipped the pages and put my finger down on a sentence (the book is in swedish, and I wrote it in swedish, here is my attempt to translate it):

But Jenny came and sang...


She sang so the evening sky paled. The blackbird who always filled our early evenings with his homey chirrups and twirrels sat down by the rail of the verandah to listen. His black suit floated out into the dark shadows around him, but the lights from inside made his eye twinkle. His shiny eye and my dry eyes met and fell into eachother until I no longer knew who was the observer and who was the observed. The I in the tale. All that happened that evening - was it my or the blackbird's story?

The others were watching Jenny of course. Actually she was rather inconsiderable. The hair of no particular colour and her skin was sensitive and therefore filled with blushes and dry spots. The eyes were filled with some sort of light, I guess, but they weren't more beautiful than average. Besides, her lips were thin and pale. But when those lips parted, and she sang - then everybody forgot how inconsiderable she was. Like tiny lit candles they all sat turned towards her, shining. Their faces full of glow and wonder. Some were smiling. Some closed their eyes. Some cried. Only my heart closed. Filled with blackbird feathers.

Maybe it was my hatred that made her fall on the stairs. Maybe my slippery kindness found it's way under her petite shoes and made her lose foothold. I don't know. Strangely enough neither of the shoes fell of. She lay there with her skirts spred out like a fan, a growing shadow around her hair. The beautiful tiny slippers still both on their foot.


Also, I played around with my image from week two a bit. Not great, but here it is :).

Robin's Playground. Week three.

I almost didn't make it this week. I kind of didn't. I only have a sketch, almost, to show. I will have to post the finished picture later.

I imagined the lamps with dreams and thoughts pooring out of them and onto the tired woman at the bottom. Will post it when I'm finished... My children were both sick and I have had almost no sleep so I decided to go easy on myself and not stress the project. It's called Playground for a reason :).

Ok. The second week we were inspired by an image or a small piece of an image. This week, we shall do something similar, but with words. Pick a book - from your bookshelf or a friends, or at a library or wherever - randomly open it and write down the first sentence your eyes fall upon. When you have a small chunk of time, like maybe 15 minutes (or more of course), look at it again and write what ever poors into your mind. Continue the sentence like a story, or a poem, or a manifesto :). If you feel called to draw something as a continuation to the sentence - do so! That would be wonderful as well.

I am sorry if this post is a bit on the short side. I really, reeaaalllly need to go to sleep :).

I leave you with the best hairdo ever (just woke up):

Love!