My magical wand.

I cannot believe it has been another week!
Again!

I had supermany ideas about all the magic I wanted to create this week, but oh no. I sit now on wednesday evening, and I have just spent five minutes creating my magical wand. It doesn't feel bad though. I picked the stick several weeks ago because I just liked it. And it has been sitting on the desk where I am supposed to work since. I don't do any work there. I just put things there, and then when I feel like working or creating I spread the stuff out all over the appartment. And then when I'm done I curse the hardship of womenhood because we always have to tidy up so much :).

There has been a tiny bit of magic this week though. I have been stressing more and more about my situation, as you know. But yesterday when I sat translating a "thing" I am working on I came across a question I used a lot in my work with people suffering from stressrelated diseases or existential/lifesituatoin dilemmas/problems:

What is my life task right now?


It was asked by a psychologist called Erik E. Eriksson in his book about human development through the different ages of a lifetime. His perspective was that in every stage of life there is a certain task in focus. And this task is something most of what we do circulates around. For example when we are teenagers our task is to search for an identity - so we do a lot of experimenting with clothes, taste in music, political opinions, how we relate to the other sex and so on. I used the question to make people think of what the main thing they need to do right now is about. And I figured, ok, I'll ask myself.

And the answer burst out imediatly: To be a mother to my children. That is pretty obvious to everyone I suppose, but to me it felt like a welcome revelation. This is what I need to do. Be a mother. Everything else is secondary. Of course I need to find an income, but that is secondary to mothering. And it was like a big sigh went through my body and released a loooooot of tension.

And you know what? Suddenly I found energy, and joy, and patience, and a desire to create and ideas to turn into creations. MAGIC!

Very simple and maybe banal, but that's allright by me :). The words are: Joy, love, From now on my life shall be magical. Mama Nature will mother me so I can bring magic to my kids.

What magic happend this week in your life?

Robin's Playground week five.

Time is moving so fast. And so slow at the same time.

I am desperatly seeking a job. Got a couple of turndowns today. And a couple of new possible contacts.

I am desperatly seeking sleep. As in several hours of sleep in a row. Deep sleep. Uninterupted.

I am desperatly seeking time. To do all these things that I want to. Being a mother to my children - and not just transporting them around and giving them food when hungry. Sending applications. Drawing. Singing. Writing. Networking. Blogging. There is not enough of it.

And just a minute ago I was desperatly seeking my list of ideas for projects at this Playground. Gone, oh no!

Wouldn't it be nice to have a magic wand to sweep around and stop time/make children sleep nice and sound/find lost papers? And there it is: This week the task shall be to make a magic wand.

Maybe we should also make a little bit about what we would use it for.

Actually it doesn't have to be a wand. It can be anything you feel would be magic bearing to you. Such as a rime, or a rythm, or a symbol, a shield, something.

What is magical to you?
In what ways are you magical?
In what areas of your life do you feel you would need some magic?
How would it change things?
What could you do today to add some magic to your life or to celebrate the magic in LIFE?

Love!

Week four of Project Playground.

It is evening again, and I sit again sweating a bit because I want to make this week's prompt tempting. I have so many other things on my mind.  Not only confusion about the future and stress. Also very nice things such as this: 

I have also been digging and planting in my elotment. I hope to get a little bit more order and growth there this year than last year. Last year was the first year I got to use it after it had been unused for quite a number of years, so I think it will take a while before it gives really good crops. If it ever does. It doesn't really matter. Not much anyway. What matters is the happiness I feel while being there. And to see my daughter dig her hands down in the earth, and my son run around it laughing, helping pull weeds and put seeds in the ground. I forgot my camera today, but hope to get some pictures tomorrow.

Now. To the project.

I have been enjoying the sun so much that I feel a tribute is in order. So that is what the project for this week is - to make a tribute to the sun. There are many to be inspired by in all kinds of media (maybe make a collage?). You can of course make a drawing or painting, you can write a poem, but also write a lovesong or other musical piece! Anything can be used. I ran out of paper one day, but found paper plates from a birthday some years ago and drew on that (terrible photo again, sorry about that, hehe):

Love!

The sentence I picked and how I continued it.

Today I went to the library. We had an appointment at the doctors, but had to wait for over an hour (hooray for my doctor who gives you a time estimate when you get in line!). So I took baby L across the street to have a cup of coffee at the library café and she fell asleep on the way.

In the café there was a sale of books that had been sorted out from the library and I found a book by one of my favorite authors. Naturally I bought it. I closed my eyes, flipped the pages and put my finger down on a sentence (the book is in swedish, and I wrote it in swedish, here is my attempt to translate it):

But Jenny came and sang...


She sang so the evening sky paled. The blackbird who always filled our early evenings with his homey chirrups and twirrels sat down by the rail of the verandah to listen. His black suit floated out into the dark shadows around him, but the lights from inside made his eye twinkle. His shiny eye and my dry eyes met and fell into eachother until I no longer knew who was the observer and who was the observed. The I in the tale. All that happened that evening - was it my or the blackbird's story?

The others were watching Jenny of course. Actually she was rather inconsiderable. The hair of no particular colour and her skin was sensitive and therefore filled with blushes and dry spots. The eyes were filled with some sort of light, I guess, but they weren't more beautiful than average. Besides, her lips were thin and pale. But when those lips parted, and she sang - then everybody forgot how inconsiderable she was. Like tiny lit candles they all sat turned towards her, shining. Their faces full of glow and wonder. Some were smiling. Some closed their eyes. Some cried. Only my heart closed. Filled with blackbird feathers.

Maybe it was my hatred that made her fall on the stairs. Maybe my slippery kindness found it's way under her petite shoes and made her lose foothold. I don't know. Strangely enough neither of the shoes fell of. She lay there with her skirts spred out like a fan, a growing shadow around her hair. The beautiful tiny slippers still both on their foot.


Also, I played around with my image from week two a bit. Not great, but here it is :).

Robin's Playground. Week three.

I almost didn't make it this week. I kind of didn't. I only have a sketch, almost, to show. I will have to post the finished picture later.

I imagined the lamps with dreams and thoughts pooring out of them and onto the tired woman at the bottom. Will post it when I'm finished... My children were both sick and I have had almost no sleep so I decided to go easy on myself and not stress the project. It's called Playground for a reason :).

Ok. The second week we were inspired by an image or a small piece of an image. This week, we shall do something similar, but with words. Pick a book - from your bookshelf or a friends, or at a library or wherever - randomly open it and write down the first sentence your eyes fall upon. When you have a small chunk of time, like maybe 15 minutes (or more of course), look at it again and write what ever poors into your mind. Continue the sentence like a story, or a poem, or a manifesto :). If you feel called to draw something as a continuation to the sentence - do so! That would be wonderful as well.

I am sorry if this post is a bit on the short side. I really, reeaaalllly need to go to sleep :).

I leave you with the best hairdo ever (just woke up):

Love!

Robin's Playground. Week two.

This week has passed so fast I can hardly believe it is time for me to hand out (and do). I wanted to get the video working for this week, but I am just going to have to accept that I don't have the time for anything else than the absolutely necessary right now. And that does not entail swearing over machines I don't know how to work :). Hopefully I'll figure it out further ahead along the way.

Anyways.... I hope you had fun creating your hands. I saw a lovely example of what one of you have been doing on my facebook page, and it filled my heart with joy. I got plenty of more ideas of what I want to do with the theme, but now it is surely time that I present the next theme:

Elaborate! Maybe that is a good name for it. I'm not sure. What you do is this: cut out a picture or a small piece of a picture. Glue onto a piece of paper (or onto something else if you would rather make the image on something other than paper). Elaborate = use the picture as a part of your own picture. Be inspired by it. What could it be? What happens around it? I don't really know of a way to do this with words, but if you do - feel free to do it =).

I am now going to post a crappy example of what I am talking about. I think these "instruction examples" are all going to be like that. Made in the last minute. Taking no more than a minute. Good for my impro skills! Here it is:

Ok I got carried away. Maybe a little bit more than a minute. More like ten. Just like last week I will post what I do as soon as it is finished. Feel free to post on the facebookpage or on flickr! Thank you so much for being here.

Love!

Robin's Playground on flickr.

I think this is the best solution. It is probably possible to create some kind of group on facebook, but I want everyone to be able to comment and upload as they please. All you have to do is the following:

Go to www.flickr.com/photos/robinhasadream and then go to profile. There you will see my groups, I have only one which is conveniently called Robin's Playground. Join in to be a member and you can upload an image of what you have done with the weeks prompt. I you want to.

I am very excited to see that we are a group of people allready! It is going to be so much fun to share with you and maybe get to know you a bit.

Love!

Week one of Robin's Playground.

Hoooooraay! Today we start! I am both excited and a little disapointed. Excited, because it is going to be great, and disapointed because I have suffered a humongous video failure this morning. I had recorded a video so I could talk to you, but I can not get the audio and the visual to sync. And there is no way that I can figure out now to only upload the audio. So we shall have to do with my writing instead.

And so here goes. Welcome all you lovely souls to this project!!! Once a week I will post a prompt, or excersise or theme that I will and you are welcome to create during the week. I will post what I have done as soon as I'm finished, and you are all welcome to post photos or texts in the comment section. If you prefere you can post a link to your flickraccount our some other place where we can go see what you do.

My aim for this is to create a playarea - hence Playground name - where we can create things for the mere fun of it. I was inspired by Julia Cameron's Artist dates (if you haven't read Artist's way, and you are an artist, then by all means - read it!). I figured out, why not do something like that, but in a group where we can inspire and learn from eachother?! So here it is: Robin's Playground. I would like for this to be a warm, welcoming and positive area, where there is no right and wrong in creating, no good or bad, no goals to be met or failed at. Just the play and the fun that creating can be. Just the exploration.

You can follow by popping in here whenever you like, or sign up for the newsletter and get the prompts in your mailbox. Whatever is best for you!

And now let's get to it:

This weeks theme is: My Hand.
Why on earth this? Simply because one of the great masters of painting (I think it was Leonardo da Vinci, can not be sure though...) started up every day be drawing his own hand. So I figured it could be a good first excersise. Now, you can do exactly that - draw your hand as it looks. Or you can draw it symbolically - what is your hand to you? Or you can write down what ever pops up in your mind when you think of your hand and then make a poem or a word collage. If you are very pressed for time: here are some really quick tips:

Draw the outline of your hand on a piece of paper:

If you have time you can fill it in with colours, collage it...
Or do it many times:

Dip your hand in paint (feels good!):

Lovely feeling indeed, so do it many times:

I was aiming for tree, but I don't know.... Hehe.
Ok. Let's get to it! Hooray again! Let me know how you are doing.

Oh, I just realized it is not possible to leave a photo in the comments here :(. How about keeping that exchange in the Facebook area? I have a page there too:
http://www.facebook.com/RobinHasADream?ref=tn_tnmn

Or if you have any better suggestions that I, as the very analogue person I am, don't know of , just let me know ;).

Love!

one layer a day.

I haven't quite been able to make one layer a day, and post it here on that day. But I have been continuing - and here are some pictures of the progress:

I hope to see you here tomorrow for the beginning of "Robin's Playground"!

Love!

one layer a day exercise.

Today I didn't do much. Just a few lines of charcoal. I'm beginning to see a pattern:
Every two days I like the image, and every two days I hate it.
Today I hate it. But that only means tomorrow I'm gonna come up with something awesome and love it :).

A reminder, of course, not to be too judgmental on our work or ourselves. It is all a matter of perspective. Who is watching? What mood is he/she in? What has her/his day been like? Is he/she jealous or overly exited about just about everything? Etcetera.

I think that was one of the favorite things I learnt in theatre school:
Our teacher (very harsh, very loving Polish old school guy) always told us not to bother about judging our own work, but let the audience do that. For some of the other students that seemed stressful, but for me it was a relief. I could only show up, do my job the very best I could and enjoy it as much as possible and that was it. I didn't have to go home and agonise about weather it had been good enough or not, I could just leave it to the people who were watching. And I didn't have to bother about it at all. Not about what they thought either if I didn't want to. The acting part was my business and the judging part was theirs (if they felt like it).

Everything is a work in progress. We only invite the onlookers to get a glimpse of our journey.


Which is what I am doing here I guess.

Love!

picture in progress.

I'm reading a book - about how to create a life that allows for creativity and artmaking. Hopefully I'll get down to writing a review when I'm done. One thing the author writes about is how you can see different "types" of creative persons. Few are just one of these types, most of us are a mixture of several. I am not going to delve into that right now - but attached to these accounts of the types were exercises especially made up to suit that kind of personality.

And one of the types, that are part of who I am - came with the exercise to make something, but not finish it at once. Just make a layer, or a part, and then leave it till next day. Make another part or layer and leave it again.

So, I am currently working on a sort of painting, collage, mixed media thing. It started like this:

Actually I did this a while ago. The first time I painted in years. For some reason I have felt that it is so grand to paint and I've just been doing these more "simple" illustrations instead. But one day I decided to take out the brushes and paint again and just give it a try. It was so much fun. I loved painting again. Then I looked at the picture. And I decided I hated it. And I hid it. But when I came across this exercise I decided the painting was perfect for it, and added a layer.

As you can see it is more than one layer. For some reason I didn't understand it's a perfect project for the blog until this evening. So what have I done? I painted more blue and white the first day. Then the day after I ended up with a pile of small pieces of yarn that I glued on. Next day, I hated the yarn and started tearing it of. Then I decided I liked it again, so let some :). Then I dripped som blue paint on the yarn. And today I glued on torn pieces of notepad paper. And now I have to wait until tomorrow to continue...

Love!
Robin

rehearsal.

Yesterday, I met up with my friend Kajsa for our first rehearsal of what I hope shall be a wonderful song and text performance this summer. Our rendezvous was in a beautiful small church looking out on the water in the middle of the city. It was nice and pieceful. The sun shone in through the tiny windows and onto the piano. Baby L played on the floor and Kajsa sung so my heart wanted to cry and laugh at the same time.

I still suffer consequences from the flu, so didn't get to sing yesterday, but I can't wait! We got an admirer in the form of a church volonteer guy who offered us lovely coffee and sat sipping his cup, stirring his spoon, getting lost in Kajsas singing. Did I mention she is lovely?