fears.

This time is different.

Like I said, I have decided to take myself and my dreams more seriously before. And it has not changed a single thing. Not much anyway. But this time... Something is different. I made the same promise, but this time something really shifted within me. It's not big. No thunder and lightening, no complete makeovers "I'm gonna cut my hair and get a completely new wardrobe to show I'm different now" kind of thing. Just a tiny shift.

And it has set my inner world in turmoil. All my fears are awakened. Screaming at me:

Give up!

Fail at once!

Don't do it!

Everybody is going to laugh at you!

You have nothing to offer to the world!

I know that these fears are not unique to me. Bookshelf after bookshelf has been filled to the brim with wise words (and unwise) about how to overcome these fears. They are why so many of us never create anything at all, not even in the safety of our own homes. I still get sick with nervosity when I show something to P and he is the person who loves me the most in this world and chooses to live with me and have children with me...

I hope to find a way to inspire people to pick up these wonderful things that singing, painting, writing, knitting etcetera etcetera can be - just for fun. It's a way for us grownups to play, to be free, to experience spirit, to express ourselves! So I can't budge now, can I?

Retorical question. Of course I can't. And I wont. Slowly, slowly. A tiny bit everyday - when I have a shred of time - I work on the designs for the first artwork/inspiration tool I want disperse into the world.

I am so happy to know you are reading! All my love to you!